Forgiveness doesn’t cancel a memory, it takes the sting out of the memory. That memory now has no power to hurt you again but that person can still make you sick. That type of sickness is because you didn’t forgive the person, you forgave that action. True forgiveness has the power and healing agent for you to forgive a person and their actions.

Some people say, “I forgive you but I won’t forget,” means I forgave that actions but I’m going to remember who did it. This type of forgiveness is happening a lot in relationships. People that are deciding to forgive but not to forget can become skeptics, distrustful, busy-bodies rather than a confident, faithful person.

A person that can’t truly forgive the person have tendencies to question that person’s motives, actions and may have a hard time believing what they say. When an individual lives like this, no matter what the other person does, they may not be able to please the forgiver who can’t forget.

When I say forget, that doesn’t mean that memory won’t come back, but that means when that memory comes back it doesn’t keep your attention, you’ll able to quickly move pass that memory.

Forgiveness does have a controlling power but it also has a healing agent that allows you to heal from the hurt and to see a person differently. Sometimes I believe we miss out on having great relationships with people because we place them in a box and its difficult to see their change.

I was kidnapped, beat up very badly and raped. After the experience, I found out it was by the man that asked me to marry him. He became very volatile when I told him that I could not marry him. After healing physically, dealing with mental constraints and addressing my emotional stability, I realized that I had to forgive him.

As I worked to regain health, life and mobility, I realized full freedom to live had to come through forgiveness. I didn’t want to forgive and not forget, I wanted to be whole again. So I called to find out how he was (a year later). I called to let him know that I forgave him and his actions, I didn’t need his I’m sorry. I made a decision in my heart to see him as I saw him before the marriage proposal.

This lead me to be able to speak with him as well as to hug him and see him as a whole person. When time came to address his mental health, he was open to seeing someone so that his abusive behavior would not be afflicted on another woman.

Forgiveness power and healing allows you to see others whole as well as knowing their are rules, limits, options to life that we should all follow. Life can be beautiful again but that depends on our own individual perception. Forgive others because there may come a day when you need to be forgiven.

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